A Brief Corporate History of Uber
1492: European explorers arrive in the New World, introducing horses, sugar cane, smallpox, and smartphones to America:
1849: Jeremiah T. Uber and his three sons arrive in the port of San Francisco from Panama. They open Uber & Sons, a modest dry goods store catering to gold miners and prospectors. With his venture capital funding running low, Jeremiah pivots the business into providing on-demand horse-drawn carriages.
1929: The Great Depression nearly sinks Uber’s business when a stock market crash and 25% unemployment severely curtails public desire for private chauffeurs.
A desperate foray into on-demand food delivery backfires when Uber is criticized for using dynamic pricing to charge more for turkey on Thanksgiving:
1944: With war raging in Europe and the Pacific, Uber temporarily suspends its budding on-demand transportation business and builds an app to help the U.S. Army dispatch precision airstrikes and mechanized infantry deployments.
Uber’s First Airborne Escalade Paratrooper Division turns the tide of the war against the Axis:
1984: After 135 years in business, Uber re-invents itself as a modern technology platform, taking advantage of the latest developments in computing and telecommunications. ETAs come down from 78 hours to an amazing 41 hours, making getting a car virtually instantaneous.
Though most requests are sent and received via Fax, Uber turns the industry on its head when it launches its revolutionary pager app:
2037: Uber launches the “Pre-car” product, using psychic creatures suspended in a rich nutrient bath to predict when you’re about to have a boring conversation at a party so that a car can be sent to your location before you know you need one.
ETAs improve from 3 minutes to negative 15 minutes:
Thank you for joining us on this brief tour of Uber’s rich corporate history.
Today, I’m excited to announce that Arianna Huffington will join Uber’s board. For those of us who know Arianna, it’s clear she knows a thing or two about being an entrepreneur. As the founder and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, she’s built one of the most successful, innovative media companies in the world… from scratch. […]